Don Jon Review by Lynus

“Don Jon” starts out…

        straight R (as in, R-rated).

Peek-a-boos of heated scenes from popular pornographies. Nudity, intercourse, guy playing with himself – every bit of the raw and raunchy reality. Not that it’s a bad thing, though; it just means that one has to be quite open-minded with a pinch of maturity in order to thoroughly enjoy the movie.

The subject that “Don Jon” explores is downright sensitive and virtually unprecedented: masturbation. The storyline revolves around Jon Martello, a porn addict, who will, for your adult’s entertainment, walks you through - with visual aids – the yays and boos of watching povies*.

*povies = porno movies. Mama I coined a word! 

The plot of “Don Jon” is a little cliché at first: a non-committal guy meeting a beautiful girl who doesn’t give him sex too easily and ‘poof!’ – he falls in love. Every time they get down there’s music like woohoo-ing Sims. But here’s the catch, Jon’s girlfriend Barbara, she despises povies, so they break up. Then Jon meets another girl and it works out for him in a way. I don’t want to spoil it too much for you, because that’s all there is to this movie, really. The plot, I must say, is very simple and ‘in your face’. 

There are some educational aspects: despite the unconventional theme of masturbation, the moral of the story, still, is that sex is agreeably better with two who are in love. I’d say this movie is satisfactory for getting this sole message across. Other than that, it’s pretty unconvincing. Apart from the outspokenness, this movie generates no feelings whatsoever. No plot twists, no ups and downs. Even the humour dies down after a while; it’s just water bland and paper flat. What’s more, some of the details in “Don Jon” are rather idealistic and unbelievable. I am talking about the vast 180 degree change in Jon’s personality and lifestyle, his giving up years of porn addiction, after hearing only a few words from a woman he rarely knows. Come on, who does that?!

I did expect so much more from the interesting introduction, but let’s just say that when the movie’s turned off I’m not turned on either. The acting is okay, the plot is not too bad, but the casting is just not right! There are way too many characters that don’t really contribute to the movie, and many of them are annoying as sheep! I’m talking about Jon’s mom with her constant high-pitched wailing and overreacting (it makes me hate women), his dad with an über foul mouth and hot temper (it makes me hate men), and his dormant little sister whom I don’t really see the point of even being in the movie (all she does is make some eye contacts, and talk – once). Also, the constant tension and the aura of the movie are so negative that when it’s finished, my head is heavy with confusion and disappointment.

All in all, “Don Jon” starts out very promising but then after one third of the movie, it makes you feel exactly how you would after your parents give you ‘the talk’ at length. If you’re looking for heated romance, check out ‘Casanova’ instead. Or just watch the first 30 minutes of this movie, that way you’d actually enjoy it AND save yourself a boring hour of sex-ed.

Rating: 2/10, for the guts to bring up a sensitive issue.